ANTIPOETRY MAGAZINE
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    • Issue 1 | February 2022 >
      • American Atavistic by David Booth
      • Antonyms for “Automotive” by Glen Armstrong
      • Excuse by John-Thomas Kelly
      • goodnight by Elena Vallejo
      • SUGAR CUBE by C. Cimmone
      • How Dreams Can End Up by Richard LeDue
      • Granny from the Days of Yore by Todd Mercer
      • ​Motherhood by Julia Nusbaum ​
      • [opening the veins] by Christine Hamm
      • Maybe by Yulia Tseytlin
      • ​What Love Is by Julia Nusbaum
      • [down there one is alone] by Christine Hamm
    • Issue 2 | June 2022 >
      • Untitled (A milky light...) by Andrea the Caustic
      • my brother screams in supermarkets by Harriet Evans'
      • The Thing that I Miss About You Is Me ​by Pamela Moss
      • There is Still Time by Robert L. Penick
      • WHEN IT'S TIME TO GO by clive donovan
      • darker than night by Raymond Gibson
      • Idle Days by Liam Mcclelland
      • ​on picking up a crepe paper poppy outside of lincoln cathedral By J. W. Summerisle
      • Untitled (It was the middle of winter in purgatory...) by Martin McKenna
      • december by Èlyse Deering
      • 12 months by Phrieda Bogere
    • Issue 3 | October 2022 >
      • POEM COMPOSED OF TEXTS WITH FRIENDS by Courtney LeBlanc
      • Untitled (Fruits on the branches...) by ivan de Monbrison
      • Comes the Last Time by Steven Bruce
      • Hope is a Heavy Burden, Lay it on Me by Mariya Kika
      • Chipper Wood Chipper by Agrimmeer DeMolay
      • Death of Mangiafuoco by Toti OBrien
      • Boy by Toti OBrien
      • Hellish Perfection by Cody Ares Baynori
      • Event Horizon by Bruce McRae
      • Mirror by Khushnoom Merchant
      • like coptic by Falon Willow
      • Round Nouns by Will Stanier
      • I Found It For You Gong-Gong by Ren Peng
      • glass-breaking season by Charlotte Amelia Poe
      • THE WAY WE THINK OF BIRDS by Caitlin Andrews
      • Lost Is the Story by Alexander Etheridge
      • Memory by Ramesh Dohan
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​Mirror by Khushnoom Merchant


​I'm not good with eye contact.
Or at least that’s what I told you.
The truth is I hesitate,
Because you’re too familiar.
I see all of them in you.
All the faces i’ve been forced to forget.
It's an addiction of sorts.
Fingerprints leave marks that never fade.
The withdrawals leave me craving more.
I don’t really know much about you.
But I’m familiar with the way you make me feel.
I hate it.
A lethal dose does nothing to soften the noise.
Because every pill leaves the same bitter aftertaste.
White knuckles and salty tears infest my supply.
Il use you to hurt myself.
Before you get to hurt me.
Il tear myself apart limb by limb.
And even when you leave.
As they always do.
I wont be alone.
Because I see you every time I look at him.

Khushnoom Merchant (she/her) is a psychology student at Simon Fraser University, living in Vancouver, British Columbia and just getting started with her poetry career. Previously a support worker, Khushnoom hopes to help others by sharing her story of mental illness, trauma and disability through her writing and work in the mental health field.
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  • Home
  • Issues
    • Issue 1 | February 2022 >
      • American Atavistic by David Booth
      • Antonyms for “Automotive” by Glen Armstrong
      • Excuse by John-Thomas Kelly
      • goodnight by Elena Vallejo
      • SUGAR CUBE by C. Cimmone
      • How Dreams Can End Up by Richard LeDue
      • Granny from the Days of Yore by Todd Mercer
      • ​Motherhood by Julia Nusbaum ​
      • [opening the veins] by Christine Hamm
      • Maybe by Yulia Tseytlin
      • ​What Love Is by Julia Nusbaum
      • [down there one is alone] by Christine Hamm
    • Issue 2 | June 2022 >
      • Untitled (A milky light...) by Andrea the Caustic
      • my brother screams in supermarkets by Harriet Evans'
      • The Thing that I Miss About You Is Me ​by Pamela Moss
      • There is Still Time by Robert L. Penick
      • WHEN IT'S TIME TO GO by clive donovan
      • darker than night by Raymond Gibson
      • Idle Days by Liam Mcclelland
      • ​on picking up a crepe paper poppy outside of lincoln cathedral By J. W. Summerisle
      • Untitled (It was the middle of winter in purgatory...) by Martin McKenna
      • december by Èlyse Deering
      • 12 months by Phrieda Bogere
    • Issue 3 | October 2022 >
      • POEM COMPOSED OF TEXTS WITH FRIENDS by Courtney LeBlanc
      • Untitled (Fruits on the branches...) by ivan de Monbrison
      • Comes the Last Time by Steven Bruce
      • Hope is a Heavy Burden, Lay it on Me by Mariya Kika
      • Chipper Wood Chipper by Agrimmeer DeMolay
      • Death of Mangiafuoco by Toti OBrien
      • Boy by Toti OBrien
      • Hellish Perfection by Cody Ares Baynori
      • Event Horizon by Bruce McRae
      • Mirror by Khushnoom Merchant
      • like coptic by Falon Willow
      • Round Nouns by Will Stanier
      • I Found It For You Gong-Gong by Ren Peng
      • glass-breaking season by Charlotte Amelia Poe
      • THE WAY WE THINK OF BIRDS by Caitlin Andrews
      • Lost Is the Story by Alexander Etheridge
      • Memory by Ramesh Dohan
  • About Us
  • Submit